My beautiful, brave, and beloved daughter-in-love Jennifer once again shares the agonizing journey that is infertility.
Life will get better. It won’t always be like this. I say this not because I feel it, but because I know it. Time will begin to heal the wounds, whether we have children or not. But that’s the future looking into the past. And right now, in the present, I am heartbroken. ~ “Months Into Years” at Unexpected Realities
I am learning so much from Jennifer and Caleb. They get the gospel truth that I so desperately needed all those years ago in my own months-into-years waiting. The biblical term barrenness is quite apt, as infertility is an endlessly dry and weary land. But God, in His great redemptive drama, uses the means of barrenness over and over again to accomplish his fruitful ends. There is a precious, though unsought, sisterhood of suffering that yields gospel fruit. In Jennifer’s raw reflection on their prolonged and painful waiting, the fruit of gospel faithfulness—even rugged gospel joy—is evident. More than that, from my front-row seat, these are evident in their lives. This prayer is a reality for them.
I have cast my anchor in the port of peace,
knowing that present and future
are in nail-pierced hands.
Thou art so good, wise, just holy,
that no mistake is possible to thee.
Thou art fountain and source of all law;
what thou commandest is mine to obey.
I yield to thy sovereignty all that I am and have;
do thou with me as thou wilt. ~ Valley of Vision, “Repose”
Still. It does not hurt any less. Please pray for Caleb and Jennifer.