The Feel Of A Tiny Hand That Is Never Held

Infertility is a lonely place. Even if you do know the statistics and have a support system, it’s impossible to not feel that everyone around you is getting pregnant when you are not. When you’re constantly reminded, when friends and family, and sometimes even your husband, are unable to understand, when you’ve long ago used all your friend’s extra pregnancy tests, you can’t help but feel it: alone . . . In Laura Bush’s memoir, Spoken from the Heart, she writes: “The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful some not. Still we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only “I’m sorry for your loss.” But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?” Continue reading at Unexpected Realities

My beautiful, brave, and beloved* daughter-in-love has navigated this excruciating journey over the past few years with a grace that inspires me. This strong woman of God, in the midst of her own pain, labored tirelessly at Care Net, passionately defending other women’s unborn babies. She only recently gave that job up in order to help her dear sister Becky care for her own much-wanted and long-awaited twin b
oys. All those years ago, as we waited in our own long agony for Jennifer’s husband and his twin, and later for our third son, I did not do so well. I wish that me could have known her.

The article Jennifer shares is outstanding, and a must-read for every compassionate Christian. If you belong to a church, you are certainly surrounded by infertile couples, whether you know it or not. Mother’s Day is coming—the one Sunday of the year that infertile women most need the hope of the gospel, along with the love and compassion of their church family. Yet it is the most difficult day to receive it, let alone even be there in the first place. Please pray for those who are waiting—in half agony and half hope.

*completely apt words describing Jennifer borrowed from my dear friend Kathryn (Proverbs 25:11)

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